If I could find the words

If I could find the words,
to say how much I appriecate you.
it would be like a punishment.
I can't lie to either so I will say nothing.
If I could find the words,
to tell you how much you get on my nerves
it would mean nothing because you don't listen.
A full brain yet, no one is home I suppose.
If I could find the words,
to tell you how much I have changed my lifestyle,
it will be a lie because I still do the same things.
Your just not here.
If I could find the words,
to tell you how much I am afraid you might leave,
that would be a lie too.
So why do I keep you around.
Oh yeah, because you make me want to be someone
I'm not.
That's simply it who else would love me,
the fake me like you do.
I am not my own person,.
If I can only find the words to tell you.