Meh

Meh, hmmm, uhhh

What??

Hey does anyone know??

Did everyone get the memo??

Lost for the time being.

Random thoughts or words feel the day.

Being extremely out of it.

Leaves you, try other things out.

Trying other things lead to stuff,

Which leads to danger,

Failing, uneasy, and pain coming your way.

Unknown to what to say or do,

I'm bored all the time,

fill my day with frugal tempting jesters.

That hopefully are innocent.

Still bored 

Emptiness

The feel of nothing
Blank, Gone, Invisible.
Alone, frighten shaken and stern.
Void of a bottomless,
never ending,
endless pit of space.
A waste when nothing can satisfy,
or even excite you.
Truly nothing.

Without You

Without You,
I feel nothing but pain.
You brighten my day.
You lighten my heart.
Yet, I have nothing to give in return.
Without You,
I want you to know everything.
My feelings for you grows.
I want you to know and say the same.
I want to see your face.
Without You,
Their is a missing link.
My heart is filled with emptiness.
I need you.
I'm so lost.
There is nothing.
I am nothing.
I can't live because your gone.
It leaves me sadden and alone.
Without You, Without You
All I can't say, " Without You"

Bonds

I make bonds,
to break bonds,
to take bonds.
We you form this bond with me.
You leave everything open.
With our thoughts of no regrets.
Also, with loving tendency.
I wonder why you don this form,
but you reassure everything.
My bond is forever.
And it should never be broken.

We want

We question ever method,
to wonder why it is even possible.
We want to be smart,
but their are others who are intelligent.
We want to be strong,
but their are others who are stronger.
We want a relationship to work,
but you cant please everyone.
We want to be believers in Christ,
but others want to be separate.
We want to believe even further in a higher power,
but need a sign to get their.
We question lots of things
yet we don't like the answer.
So why ask if it not for us to take.
We want, but we can't take.

I will never change you

Promises, Promises, Promises.

That you would still be here.

That you would never lie to me.

That I don't have to change.

You told me I love the way you are,

don't change a thing.

It seems those word were broken,

by the minute to the hour, 

of our fallen to pieces relationship,

in which you recall,

all my fault.

Baby, I need to be different.

Your embarrassing,

I can't show you to public,

your just to beautiful.

Which was a bunch of crap.

 You denied me of my freedom,

I thought it was love but it was lust.

Yet, I still let you walk back in.

Was it my size,

Was it how I smell,

Was my personality,

Was it my hair,

Was it my hobbies or activities,

or was it my progress,

to where I was headed 

and you in the middle of no where.

I can't never change these factors

of joy and excitement.

Yet, I was water down version of myself.

Only to please and satisfy you.

Just so you can love me still.

I was never going to be the person for you.

Was I?

Yet, why am I stressed?

 

 

Jesus

Jesus

Is a power full name.

For we died in sin,

he helped us live again.

The servant not the master,

The son not the father,

authority over all that lives.

His teachings which was written,

since the beginning, not quite the end.

If I could find the words

If I could find the words,
to say how much I appriecate you.
it would be like a punishment.
I can't lie to either so I will say nothing.
If I could find the words,
to tell you how much you get on my nerves
it would mean nothing because you don't listen.
A full brain yet, no one is home I suppose.
If I could find the words,
to tell you how much I have changed my lifestyle,
it will be a lie because I still do the same things.
Your just not here.
If I could find the words,
to tell you how much I am afraid you might leave,
that would be a lie too.
So why do I keep you around.
Oh yeah, because you make me want to be someone
I'm not.
That's simply it who else would love me,
the fake me like you do.
I am not my own person,.
If I can only find the words to tell you.

Blank

This empty hole
This misery that constantly
ponders and wither
like melted snow or fall leaves.

A space that was not fulfilled.
This on going void,
an endless pit.
Where have you gone?
Where have you ran off too?
No words to think or complete,
not even this thoughts.
I can't find you anywhere.
Nothing is coming or going.
I am simply left with nothing.

Lifestyle choice

Your speculations 
Your standards
Your high demands
Your duties.
Have nothing to do with me.
I do not want to be looked upon as perfection
but as a work in progress.
My father as he is yours, knows your heart.
Look at him every time you need something.
Because the flesh can does not the spirit.
I will always be weak.
Yet, look up in prayer because it is his love that shines down on us.

thought

These words on a page defines my thoughts.
It does not define my life, or who I am.
For I know self control.
For I know when time is up.

I never felt

I never left you feeling ashamed.
I left you feeling accomplished.
I never blamed you.
I was proud of your worth.
I think your going to do amazing.
I see you as the same.
Yet, your heart makes up the wrong in this world.
You make make everything new.
And I believe in you.
As you have always, still believe in me.

Your Eyes

Your eyes are beautiful.
Unforgettable, priceless.
They tell an untold story.
Only you hold the key.
It stays locked.
Until your walls come down.
I am left with a choice, to stay or flee
I choose to stay
I fight, arms wide open
Your secrets are now mine
And the gates can't be locked.
For the known is unknown.
The love I give is to those who deserve it

I remember you fear

I remember you fear.
It whines and binds,
all the hopes and dreams I once had.
You kept me skeptical, difficult, unloving.
Yet, I stand here to say no more of your lying.
I remember you fear.
You were the reason I hated so hard.
And loved little.
Yet, my heart was breaking each time.
My guard grew stronger.
Yet, I grew weaker.
I remember you fear.
How the days seemed like seconds as time passed me by.
I lost friendships and felt died inside.
Yet, being that shell no one knew.
This girl needed to be a woman.
My heart grows stronger, now each day.
As my fear has gone away.
For I have been there before.
Friends and family keep each one accountable.
For our actions can be an ending to the beginning.
Leave no one unmarked.
Leave no one behind.
So you can help someone's darkness, turn to the light.